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For Disguised as Friend

Foe Disguised as Friend
2016: her; 23, living with her mother, mother’s husband,brother and husband, never worked, lived in California. Me: 27, living alone in Florida, working multiple jobs and going to school.
So in 2016 I became friends with a female (we met in 2013), she was married. She would lie about her life, which considering I only had her talking in my ear; I was foolish to believe. She said her husband didn’t care about her, that she was irrelevant, unimportant, invisible. I would inquire about her family considering they lived with them and she would tell me that her family cared more about her husband than her.
My empathy and sympathy got to me and I felt bad. I experienced multiple life’s worth of pain and I had never been one to see others in pain and not try to help.
I thought our friendship had grown with time and we became friends. I considered her my best friend, but only FRIEND.
At the end of 2016 she asked me “can I ask you something without making it weird” I replied “of course” She told me “do you love me?” It took me aback, and I replied “why do you ask?” She said “because I love you” I replied “don’t say it unless you mean it”
(Before this “friend” I used to believe in “love” and that “love” actually meant something so I was extremely careful using it and never wanted people using it towards me like they do a pair of shoes or some food)
Our “friendship” was rocky - whenever there was an inconsistency, and I’d ask about it; she would ghost or stonewall.
She made me feel like she was the only one that understood me. She even told me “you’re the only one I’m 100% myself with” She learned and knew of my experiences in life and many times over she said nobody else would understand me, that her mother would never understand me.
[sorry if I’ve gone off track, let me get back]
In 2017 I pursued an opportunity with Tesla, I moved to California, when selecting where in California (San Diego or Fremont, CA) I couldn’t help but think of my best friend who I’ve grown close with, all the times she expressed pain that she experienced by her husband and family, the times she would send me pictures of her “cutting” herself. I moved to San Diego, knowing how it feels to be alone and fighting battles with no one around...
She seemed excited, tried to get me to become friends with her husband which confused me because I can’t be friends with someone that is emotionally abusing my friend; she told me many times “you have to become friends with him if you’re going to live in San Diego and to be accepted by my family” - she asked me to lie. I told her “I can’t be friends with someone who is treating my friend badly. Why do you want me to be friends with him? I’d rather not be friends than lie.”
A few months rolled by and I moved to San Diego, upon my arrival she called me up to tell me how excited her mother was and that they planned on going bowling which made me feel uncomfortable; I told her I didn’t want it to be a “big” deal; she said that we would all go to a casino. This still had me uneasy, and I told her “idk if it’s a good idea to meet everyone all at once, I’m afraid of being overwhelmed, can’t we just meet like one by one” - her response was that her mother was looking forward to it, so I felt bad and sucked it up for her mother’s sake. We all met at the Casino, I observed as I have always observed people; her husband didn’t seem all that bad of a guy, he showed love and affection. I knew that in-front others how significant others can be vs in privacy; but I still asked her about it - she replied “I know, he never does that, it was weird to me.”
They invited me to her mother’s husbands graduation party at a beach about a month later; this is where I really thought I f*cked up. I hadn’t eaten all day, and I brought alcoholic beverages; and I remember observing everyone when I played corn hole , my thought was ‘how could nobody see the pain my friend is in’ - and it was at this point my mind shot into my past, it was like my physical self was there but my mind was reacting to things in my past.
Long story short - I F*CKED UP
The following day I apologized to every single person; she forgave me. Her brother forgave me. Her family forgave me. This was the first time in my life that anyone’s accepted me - for the good and bad...
June2017 About two weeks later, she invited me to her cousins condo; I told her I wasn’t going to drink, I didn’t care if they did but I wasn’t going to. Her cousin had her best friend there, and she had me; they asked me to bring the drinks which I did, and since we were going to be in the hot tub of the condo complex, I picked up large SMART waters, I insisted that they hydrate which I was made fun of for by them. I felt a little embarrassed but I tried not make too much of it. We must’ve been in the hot tub for hours which my “friend” would continually tell me how her cousin wanted me which I wondered ‘why’re you’d telling me this? I don’t think she wants you to be telling me, that’s her business’ but finally we were able to get out, her cousin and her best friend left ahead of us and she whispered to me “meet me in the bathroom once they’re out of sight” - I was uncomfortable but she was intoxicated so I was careful because if everything she had shared with me throughout the friendship was true, I didn’t want to upset her.
When they left, and my “friend” went into the bathroom I stayed outside of the bathroom, stood there for a while when I heard her cousins best friends voice, I pretended like I didn’t know where his voice was coming from so I pretended to look around to buy myself some time, and thank god I did because by the time her cousins friend left, she came out of the bathroom and we headed upstairs.
She and her cousin went to her cousins mother’s room to do whatever females do and I found refuge on the outdoor patio talking with her cousins best friend, up until her cousin came out “ ———— wants you to give her a massage” I asked “huh?” And she repeated herself and couldn’t pretend like I hadn’t heard her. So I figured okay, we’ll talk and I’ll go home, but when I got to the room she was on her stomach still in her bathing suit and asked for a massage; I was uncertain but I thought that’s what friends do, I didn’t want to be a bad friend, this is the first person that’s understood me, so I was willing to just give a massage, she told me to lock the door and I figured well her cousins best friend is here so kind of makes sense.
I gave her a massage and then she wanted me to turn off the lights, I obliged, and I asked her because I had never been in this situation before “uh do you want me to go home, cause I can go home?” She told me she wanted to sleep, and considering she was my best friend, and she’s here with her cousin and cousins best friend, I didn’t want to be a bad friend and leave my friend there all by herself. So i took off my shirt and I laid as far left as possible since she was on the right side of the bed. I tried falling asleep, and then her cousin knocked on the door and holy crap, I felt like an idiot, trying to put my shirt back on thinking to myself ‘oh for fcks sake, hurry up, this probably looks bad, and it’ll look even worse the longer you take, for fcks sake the tshirt is on inside out, screw it!’ And I unlocked the door, her cousin came and laid in my original spot, putting me in the middle.
As her cousin was talking and I was responding, my mind going crazy, screaming at me ‘GTFO if there you f*cking idiot, RUN and don’t look back’ - all of a suddenly that screaming was interrupted by my “friend” groping my junk, sliding her hands in my shorts and stroking - ‘really? Your cousin is right there! Wtf?!’ So I had to shift my body, not wanting to make a scene, I was beyond uncomfortable, her cousin was trying to talk to me while my “friend” is going to town with her hand with my junk and carrying a conversation and attempting to not react or show any uncomfortableness is extremely hard. I accidentally said “idk” quickly when her cousin asked “should I go back and take care of my best friend?” Because it’s not my house, I can’t tell anyone what to do.
Her cousin left and my “friend” stopped, I rolled to the left side and tried to go to sleep, didn’t work cause next thing you know, my “friends” decision to not hydrate caught up, she was feeling unwell and I was worried, I attempted to make her feel better I went out to get water and crackers to get some food in her belly and hydration into her body. When I came back, she was hugging the porcelain god, naked, i didn’t know when I came around the corner, I thought she was puking, but not naked!
I shot back around and came extremely close to just leaving but that’s not what a friend would do? Is it? I took a deep breath tried to drown out my screaming thoughts of ‘RUN! RUN YOU STUPID MOTHERF*CKER!!!! RUN!!!’ and I went back, I gave her the water she refused, put the crackers by the bed on the nightstand with the water she had refused, as she was hurling into the porcelain god, I found a plastic trash bin and placed it at the side of the bed, I then found her toothpaste and toothbrush and set it up, attempted to get her to brush her teeth so the after taste of throw up wouldn’t cause her to puke again; she refused and continued hurling; I held her hair.
She sat back, and started to apologize; I told her “it’s okay, don’t worry about it, it’s fine” while thinking ‘I NEED TO GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE. No, that’s not what a best friend would do, you have to make sure she’s okay’. I don’t know how much time went by, but she finally stopped and drank some water, she ignored the toothbrush even after I attempted to explain why she should. I escorted her to bed, and I was afraid she was going to die, dehydration from the alcohol AND the hot tub, I stayed up all night, laying down on the left side away from her but whenever she seemed to move to see if I was there, I moved my foot to touch hers to let her know I was there, whenever she sat up I sat up to support her, she couldn’t find the water, I found it for her, she couldn’t find the trash bin, I got it for her. She ate a cracker and I realized my mistake, saltine crackers were a bad idea, salt dehydrates too...
I don’t know when I fell asleep but I finally fell asleep just as the sun was rising and soon her cousin woke me up and I laid there with my eyes closed looking toward the window away from everyone in the room. When everyone started moving, I shot up and went to the balcony outside to smoke a cig. I smoked and sat there, reflecting on what all went on, I took a deep breath and thought I made an okay decision being there for my “friend” my “best friend”, when I saw her cousin in the kitchen I came back in and she and her cousin asked me to go out to get some breakfast; I obliged and when I got back said she was going to school, and that I would stay and hang out; I told her “it’s okay, I can go home” her cousin replied with “no no it’s okay, it’ll give y’all time to hangout and she won’t have to be here alone”
(Mind you all morning my “friend” was “sleepy” and “unwell”)
I said “uh okay”
No more than 30 seconds went by and my “friend” came out all full of energy and suddenly feeling “well”. She became sexual and I reciprocated making out, but then she asked me to have sex with her. I was uncomfortable and she knew it, four times I said No, and she continued asking; remembering all of the times she told me how ugly she felt, unimportant, irrelevant, invisible she was to her husband and family, she was also accepting of me, and I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize this friendship... I gave in... for fear of being shunned and kicked to the curb had I not…
I didn’t climax... ...it felt like a chore... Started to get a headache so I pretending to get tired and we stopped.
I left and went to sit on the couch... ...she came over and sat next to me... Her eyes all bright and big asking “so how was it? How was it?”
...I didn’t tell her anything that resembled what she said she experienced at the hand of her husband and family...
...then she went back and laid down saying she was feeling unwell...
...I told her I could leave, she told me not to....
...her cousin finally made it back, and soon I was able to leave, she changed her demeanor towards me and told me I should leave...
... I was okay with it...
...it was tearing me apart...
...on my drive home, she called me up saying “I have to tell ———-“ I was relieved, and I said “as long as you’re honest” this meant I wouldn’t have to tell him...
... about a day went by and she called me up to tell me she had told him, even asked if I could talk to him cause he wanted to talk to me...
...I thought that’d be a bad idea...
...until I found out what she told him...
...that she was drunk and I was sober... She claimed she only told him that because he had a look of “hope” in his eyes...
...I was still unhappy... it wasn’t honest,
...she then said in a tone I’m certain no one in her family had heard her use, “I CAN TELL MY FAMILY YOU RAPED ME, DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT?!”... I was floored, I asked her “you’d really do that?” (This is stuff that people do in movies, not real life?) she said “no” in a soft voice...
... she said that was the ONLY thing that was changed in her story...
I was unhappy but I had to take it, right? She said she would accuse me of something much worse?
She called me a few days later, saying she wished she never told him, that she “missed” me, then she told me she told her mother, I asked her if she told her mother the truth or the same story she gave her husband - she said she told the same story she told her husband because she wanted to keep her story straight...
...then she told me that her mother was flipping out on her and about to kick her out, I messaged her mother with the information I had at the time, which she had shared with me...
...my “friend” messaged me screaming, not able to believe I would message her mother, “you couldn’t give it a couple days?!” “Your selfish” - I told her “I messaged because I didn’t want her to kick you out, I wanted her to see your pain, she should be there for you”...
About half a month passed and July2017 My “friend” started messaging me about how much she misses me and how she regrets telling her family about “what happened” - I was unhappy that she would say she was drunk and I was sober and she knew it, she apologized. She asked me to meet her at her lesbian friends house after they came back from a party... I thought it’d be nice to talk with a friendly face... I was living out in Cali with no one... knowing nobody...
So I went over and she came out, got into the car and instructed me to park down the street because she didn’t want her best friend to know I was there...
We sat and talked... the old friendship feeling snuck back and it was refreshing to finally have someone to talk to... she then told me “you said you only had sex with me so I wouldn’t feel ugly” and I didn’t want her to think she was ugly so I tried to let her know that it wasn’t, but she needed proof, and she asked me to have sex with her again - I told her no, she asked again, and I told her i didn’t know, and she asked again and my mind was drawing a blank and all I could think of was “I don’t want the same thing to happen” she assured me with a scoff “oh, it won’t happen” I asked “how do you know?” She replied “because I won’t tell anyone” and I felt cornered, she had threatened to tell her family I had “raped” her when she had yelled at me “IF YOU WANT, I CAN TELL MY FAMILY YOU RAPED ME”, with that threat implied and if I didn’t do it then everything I tried to keep her from feeling the first time would have been for nothing, she would feel those things and I would have been the cause... ... if I didn’t then I surely would be all alone in Cali... ...no one to talk to... ...no friend... falsely accused of “rape” so I gave in... again...
Soon...
She was blaming me, blaming my mental illnesses for my questions into inconsistencies... like when I’d question her about doing and being with a bunch of other guys while telling me it was all my fault and I was the only one... she would tell me it was her family that was keeping her from talking with me... that they would say this and say that... ...
I had no idea what I was feeling... I was lost... I was empty... ... anxiety... ...depression... ...I went to therapy and the therapist was telling me it was her fault and I’d get into arguments defending my “friend”... to the extent I stopped seeing my therapist... I found myself reliving those moments... ...unable to sleep... I was drowning and grasping for branches... and there was none... it had to be my fault, it had to be me, it had to be my mental illnesses... no human is capable of this... nobody would... I would go to sleep exhausted and wake up even more exhausted... I couldn’t focus on work, I couldn’t focus on classes... if it wasn’t my fault, then I wouldn’t be shunned, ignored, attacked, blamed... She blamed my mental illnesses so it had to be... because nothing else makes sense... a good person wouldn’t do this to another human being... so it has to be me... it has to be my mental illnesses...
I tried killing myself due to being afraid it was my mind...
3 DUI’s in two weeks and on the third - drove my car into two trees and a gas station...
2 months after I tried killing myself...
...I found the truth out with evidence...
...two months after that I found out about NarcissisticAbuse...
...a year later I found out from her husband that she had already basically falsely accused me of r*ping her...
...10 months after that I found out coercion in California is r*pe...
(There are obviously mountainous amounts of details and parts of this “friendship” I didn’t touch, it already got long and I tried keeping it as short as possible)
submitted by phattymcfatfat to MenGetRapedToo [link] [comments]

Here are all positions posted in the last 24 hours

CALLS

AAPL 300C 4/17
AMD 5/1 55c
AMD 5/1 65c
AMD 5/1 65c
AMD 5/1 65c
AMD 50C 4/17
AMD 60c 4/17
AMZN 2100C 7/1
AMZN 6/19 3000C
APHA $3c 4/17
BA $150c 4/24
BA 300c 9/18
BA 7/17 175c
BA 7/17 175c
BAC 26c 4/24
CCL 20c 1/21
CORN $13c 5/15
DG 206C 6/1
DG 5/15 200C
FD 755c 4/17
GME $6c 4/17
JNJ 150c 4/17
JNJ 4/17 145c
MSFT 10/16 $260c
MSFT 170c 5/1
MSFT 180c 5/1
MSFT 180c 5/1
MSFT 185c 1/21
MSFT 200C 3/20
MSFT 200C 3/20
MSFT 200C 4/17
MSFT 200C 4/17
MSFT 200C 4/17
MSFT 200c 4/24
MSFT 4/20 200C
MSFT 5/1 $167c
MSFT 5/1 200c
MSFT 6/19 185c
NFLX 4/24 510C
NTR 300C 5/1
SDOW $95C 6/19
SPCE $60C 07/17
SPCE 20c 01/15
SPCE 25C 4/17
SPCE 4/17 20C
SPCE 4/17 20c
SPCE 4/17 25c
SPCE 60c 4/17
SPY 1000c 6/19
SPY 260c 1/21
SPY 285c 4/17
SPY 285c 5/1
SPY 300c 4/17
SPY 301c 4/17
SPY 350c 8/20
SPY 360C 4/17
SPY 4/17 290C
SPY 400c 4/17
SPY 420c 6/9
SPY 5000C 4/14
SPY 500c 5/15
SPY 6/19 $440c
TSLA $1000c 6/19
TSLA $750c 4/17
TSLA 1000C 4/17
TSLA 4/17 $780C
TSLA 4/17 1000C
TSLA 4/17 1000c
TSLA 4/17 970c
TSLA 700C 4/17
USB 45c 4/17
USO $5c 5/15
VXX 40c 4/24
XLF 30c 1/15

PUTS

A 240p 4/17
B $190p 4/24
BBY 35P 6/15
DIS 4/19 90p
DIS 80p 4/17
GME $4p 4/17
GME $4p 5/22
IWM 110p 5/1
IYR 55p 5/15
SPY $150P 4/24
SPY $180P 7/17
SPY $230P 6/30
SPY 125P 4/17
SPY 130P 6/30
SPY 150P 6/15
SPY 170p 4/17
SPY 195p 4/17
SPY 200P 5/15
SPY 200P 5/15
SPY 200P 5/15
SPY 200P 5/15
SPY 200P 5/1
SPY 200p 4/17
SPY 260p 4/20
SPY 270p 9/18
SPY 270p 9/18
SPY 275P 4/17
SPY 4/15 235p
SPY 4/16 275p
SPY 4/17 125P
SPY 4/17 235p
SPY 4/17 238p
SPY 4/17 250p
SPY 5/15 225p
SPY 5/15 235p
SPY 5/15 238P
SPY 6/15 279P
SPY 69p 4/20
SPY 85P 4/11
TSLA 04/17 685p
TSLA 4/17 600P
TTD 130p 4/17
VXX $43p 7/17
WWE 30p 4/17
XLF $20p 4/24
ZM $130p 4/17
Don't see yours? i can only catch plays in a specific format. These might have plays in them.

Posts containing dates (not perfect)

4/1, 4/22, 3/17, 4/24, 7/17, 4/17, 4/20, 4/17, 5/1, 4/17, 4/9, 4/1, 9/1, 10/10, 4/1, 4/17, 5/15, 4/24, 6/16, 5/8, 12/16, 4/24, 6/1, 5/1, 5/1, 6/1, 1/2, 4/1, 4/1, 1/4, 80/20, 3/2, 5/15, 6/1, 5/15, 6/15, 4/24, 4/20, 4/1, 5/15, 5/15, 4/1, 1/3, 4/1, 4/19, 4/17, 4/17, 10/1, 4/1, 6/1, 4/17, 4/22, 4/17, 4/1, 04/24, 5/15, 5/15, 05/15, 4/15, 4/17, 4/24, 4/15, 4/3, 4/1, 4/17, 5/15, 5/1, 4/17, 5/17, 5/1, 5/15, 5/15, 4/17, 22/4, 1/15, 2/3, 4/17, 4/1, 4/9, 4/17, 5/15, 6/1, 4/20, 5/15, 3/4, 10/10, 5/29, 6/1, 4/20, 8/1, 6/1, 4/1, 4/1, 7/1, 4/17, 6/1, 6/19, 5/20, 4/17, 4/17, 4/17, 5/1, 4/20, 4/17, 4/17, 4/20, 4/17, 5/8, 4/17, 04/20, 3/20, 5/15, 4/17, 4/1, 3/3, 5/1, 5/1, 05/08, 05/15, 5/15, 5/15, 1/30, 4/17, 4/17, 6/7, 5/01, 4/1, 4/20, 4/30, 2/3, 8/2, 4/20, 08/09, 9/11, 1/2, 4/17, 1/7, 5/10, 4/17, 1/5, 1/3, 3/31, 1/3, 3/31, 1/1, 4/17, 6/30, 7/7, 4/17, 4/29, 4/17, 4/17, 4/17, 5/15, 4/17, 4/17, 4/17, 4/20, 4/24, 4/20, 4/17, 3/20, 4/24, 1/6, 4/17, 4/24, 4/17, 5/1, 4/17, 5/15, 2/24, 5/20, 4/17, 12/22, 7/17, 5/15, 5/15, 5/1, 3/20, 4/17, 4/17, 4/17, 12/20, 5/15, 4/17, 4/17, 4/24, 4/20, 7/17, 5/1, 5/15, 2/17, 4/17, 4/20, 5/15, 4/24, 4/17, 4/17, 4/17, 3/22, 5/4, 5/1, 4/24, 4/15, 4/17, 5/1, 6/19, 4/17, 5/1, 4/17, 4/17, 4/28, 4/24, 4/17, 9/11, 4/20, 24/7, 4/24, 5/15, 4/17, 2/3, 4/3, 7/17, 7/17, 7/17, 7/17, 4/24, 4/1, 5/1, 3/17, 04/14, 7/4, 18/6, 4/2, 4/24, 01/21, 5/15, 4/24, 50/50, 4/17, 4/2, 5/1, 5/15, 4/24, 9/19, 4/29, 5/1, 24/7, 4/2, 4/17, 4/17, 5/1, 4/1, 4/17, 4/17, 4/17, 4/17, 4/15, 5/1, 5/1, 5/15, 30/60, 3/4, 4/17, 1/2, 4/24, 4/17, 4/20, 01/20, 4/17, 4/1, 4/2, 4/17, 5/15, 6/19, 04/17, 3/01,

Posts containing strike prices

270p, 8c, 5p, 1c, 64491c, 287C, 08c, 220P, 7p, 7C, 0p, 1c, 210c, 2C, 4c, 1000c, 50C, 88066c, 12p, 3p, 2c, 55c, 1c, 04p, 295c, 3P, 7C, 300c, 340c, 1C, 4c, 69C, 66c, 5P, 182c, 300c, 44c, 35c, 8P, 0p, 45P, 0C,
source code
submitted by MalOuija to wallstreetbets [link] [comments]

US State & Territory Nicknames/Slogans (Which are your favorite? / least favorite?)

From these two wikipedia articles
State + Territory nicknames and tourism slogans (some of the following are meant to disparage the place it refers to):
Alabama
Alaska
American Samoa
Arizona
Arkansas
California
Colorado
Connecticut
Delaware
District of Columbia
Florida
Georgia
Guam
Hawaii
Idaho
Illinois
Indiana
Iowa
Kansas
Kentucky
Louisiana
Maine
Maryland
Massachussetts
Michigan
Minnesota
Mississippi
Missouri
Montana
Nebraska
Nevada
New Hampshire
New Jersey
New Mexico
New York
North Carolina
North Dakota
Northern Mariana Islands
Ohio
Oklahoma
Oregon
Pennsylvania
Puerto Rico
Rhode Island
South Carolina
South Dakota
Tennessee
Texas
US Virgin Islands
Utah
Vermont
Virginia
Washington
West Virginia
Wisconsin
Wyoming
submitted by glowdirt to namenerds [link] [comments]

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure OC Tournament #4: R6M3 - Gioia Arancini vs. Yuigahama Kaito

The results are in for Match 2...
Location - Washington, DC:
It had been quite some time since Pengolo had seen many of the Rascals. Since their home–however involuntary as it may have been–had been destroyed, they had gone their separate ways. Nowhere Man had retreated to his commune; Take had long distanced themselves; and Tunde had joined an alliance with other UU players. With this newfound freedom, Hive returned home and resumed his work with the Red Cross.
It was in his nature to help those when and where he could. And it was for that reason that his mind kept straying back to the fall of La Villa and all those who had been left behind. Hive had managed to convince Lucas not to dive back in for them with the same reasoning his Stands had given him: those still within would be safe as the escapees regrouped. Hive and Lucas had kept in contact since then, eyes to the day when they would reconvene to finish the fight. His dear Marcella would have to wait, just a little longer.
He perked up as he heard the door ring. Lucas hadn’t mentioned he would be around any time soon… he’d said he’d been across the country the other day. He smiled warmly.
Imagine his surprise it was another of his friends!
“Tunde!?”
Sure enough, the woman was standing on his doorstep, donning a head wrap and sunglasses which she lowered to wink at him. “You sound surprised.”
“Well, yeah!” Hive wiped the shock off his face and beamed at her. Tunde had given him no contact info before leaving, but evidently still having kept tabs on him. But when he opened the door wider so that she could enter, she shook her head, staying on the threshold. Hive frowned. “Can’t stay for long?”
Tunde nodded. “Unfortunately not, but at least I bring a gift.” At this, the space behind Tunde warped and distorted, 「AmbitionZ」 shimmering into view. Hive recognized the Stand from its late user’s sojourn in La Villa, but even still...he lifted his eyepatch.
His new friend, 「Solid State Scouter」’s reticle focusing on the Stand leering before him. Even in the glimpse he got before he had to shut his eye and put back on his patch, he could tell much had changed about it.
Hive looked at her with some suspicion. “Where did you find 「AmbitionZ」?”
“I had to run some errands in Egypt. Share some notes, reconnect with some old friends, I thought you two might be able to get along.” 「AmbitionZ」 floated over to Hive, chittering happily to itself all the while, looking over him hungrily.
Seemingly mollified, he could feel the click of it attaching to him, binding to his soul. Could feel the slow drain of its weight on his flesh, as it began to be eaten away…such a wonderful feeling. He stroked over his arm. This Stand…「AmbitionZ」...he’d have to make himself the best meal he could be for his new friend.
Hive understood that 「AmbitionZ」 saw itself as a weapon, something aimless and destructive, but he was so familiar with aimless. He knew his friend was far from the death machine that others may have seen it as. But, if it were a weapon, he sheathed it, dispelling the Stand… for now. He could properly introduce it to the others later. He looked up at Tunde, only to see her walking back into the night.
“Hey, wait up!” He called, extending a hand. She turned a bit, a smirk on her face.
“I’ll see you soon, Pengolo. But I still have matters to attend to first. You do too.” She waved. “I’ll see you sometime.”
Tunde hummed to herself, paging through her trusty little book. So many labs, so many people, so much material… ah, this was a really wonderful day. A breakthrough. A chance to set the wheels turning, to put her little plan into motion. Maybe someone would even come after her soon…Schioppo? Gioia? Kaito?
She smiled, holding the pages to her chest. Oh…all of them were so wonderful…any of them would be. Hadrian, that dear boy, was surely living his life as well. She would have to look into him later….
True warmth blossomed in her. Her life really was a blessed one. Her eyes had been opened, and this sight…she wouldn’t turn down this path for anything.
The winner is Tunde Ó Santos, with a score of 63 to Hadrian Moore’s 55!
Category Winner Point Totals Comments
Popularity Tunde Ó Santos 28-12 Tunde broke away for the goalline with a 4-1 lead and escaped the curse for a 7-3 victory!
Quality Hadrian Moore 17-22 Reasoning
JoJolity Hadrian Moore 18-21 Reasoning
With that, we must now sadly bid goodbye to Team Neptune, Ocean’s 11, the fifth team to be eliminated from Tournament 4. They came out swinging from the very first match, and while they didn’t often make the top of many perceived rankings, no one could deny the impact they had, and they clearly had what it took to stick around into the quarterfinals.
Let’s take a moment to remember…
8th Place: Jeremiah Peacekeeper - This firefighter may have gotten in over his head in a larger than life battle against Fighter Jet, but you can’t deny he put on a show and went out with a bang.
7th Place: Annabelle - She may have been quiet during her time in the Bohemian Archive, but after coming in second during the Running of the Bulls, it’s rumored she began having some… interesting interactions with people in high places.
6th Place: Akira Inoue - Silent and unknown among her teammates like Annabelle before her, Akira RETIRED quietly after losing a football game to the Black Label Society.
5th Place: Calendar Waters - This four swordsman might have gotten eliminated as a player during Round 1 while fighting a confectioner in a corn maze, but don’t let that fool you; he just started adminning matches for them instead! Between a cooking contest and penguin sledding, no one could doubt his loyalty to Andromeda. Of course, being four boys in one took its toll on him eventually and the separate Cals went their separate ways.
4th Place: Jack Norworth - While he may have settled in comfortably to his role as the team’s Mission Control, let’s not forget his own impressive showing as a player. He began his run by teaming up with his Bug Bro to fight in a Georgia apple orchard. After this, he came second in a cooking competition refereed by his former teammate
3rd Place: Eugene “Buggy” Baxter - In this run, Jack’s Bug Bro proved himself a proper Biblical Plague to those who crossed him. It started off strong in that apple orchard, and he followed it up even stronger. You see, he brought locusts back to Egypt with the ultimate result of toppling a corrupt self-proclaimed Pharaoh. But his luck ran out in another desert when he made some tactical mistakes against a pair of snipers under a Bad Moon.
2nd Place: Lenoir “Nora” Kleid - Put simply, Nora was the heart and soul of this team. It started off slow when she lost a football game, but she got a second chance and proved herself worthy of it. Like Jack, she found herself working as the team’s Mission Control, but wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty in a raid on a Black Beetles Warehouse. Ultimately, she couldn’t quite take victory against Urban Uprising’s other legendary old-timer in a friendly casino collectathon, but her presence can still be felt without a doubt.
1st Place: Hadrian Moore - There are no two ways about it; Hadrian was a force to be reckoned with, and no one doubted that for a second. He took the very first Tag in a high-octane train fight and his momentum never slowed. One of the most effective character-defining moments in the tourney was his Trout Speech during a battle on a rotating iceberg. Seriously. Read it. After that, he raided the Black Beetles’ headquarters and took down their head Stand alongside Demis Roussos. Back in Urban Uprising, he was able to gaze at the Incomprehensible Face of God Which Cracks the Sky and come out unscathed. His biggest impact, however, was undoubtedly when he reunited with Demis and killed Nate Selleck. But even his streak had to end, and ultimately, Tunde had the ambitions to take him down.
Location - Somewhere in California:
Schioppo Fucile wasn’t the only Fairy Feller anxious and brooding during the first weeks of 2021, worried about how he’d be able to take down one of the most dangerous women in the world, a direct threat to those he cared about.
Caring about people was not something Ric Hawks considered a strong suit, and in some ways that was an advantage. Getting too worked up about his fears for Melanzane and the Fellers would play right into the Iron Rooster’s ability. But it didn’t mean he didn’t care at all. Far from it. The departure of Stefan had left a hole somewhere Ric hadn’t known existed.
All of this passed through his head as he lay awake in the dark of his motel room. He’d poured the last year of his time and income into Urban Uprising and then XPLICIT, with nothing to show for it. Sure, Kris, Schioppo, and especially Gioia had succeeded in taking down Lyte thanks in no small part to his own research, but…
Ric’s thoughts were interrupted by the creak of a door and a beam of light from the hallway. The Arancinis stepped inside the room Melanzane and Ric were sharing, moving quietly to avoid disturbing him.
“Hey,” Ric said gruffly. No point in them trying not to wake him when there was no chance he’d get any sleep tonight anyway.
“Ah, did we wake you?” Melanzane asked.
Ric sat up and shook his head. “No. Can’t sleep anyway.”
“I am sorry to hear that, my friend. What’s bothering you?”
Ric clicked on the bedside lamp and shot the ballerino a look. “Guess.”
“Feeling powerless in the face of Saint Cecilia?” Melanzane mused. “I must admit I can relate. There is little I can do anymore without danger, but such is the way of things. We must be strong, yes?”
Ric grunted in noncommittal agreement.
Gioia watched the two men silently, her own worries mounting. Ric, her father, and her boyfriend were all walking into dangerous confrontations, and everyone seemed too afraid to even communicate with each other. Noriko and Kris were both pulling double-duty as the voices of reason and positivity, fine lines for the bus driver and traceur to walk.
“We can’t worry about her yet anyway,” she found herself saying. “She’s been keeping her head down all year, and there’s plenty to clean up closer to home.”
Ric looked up. “Oh yeah?”
“Remember when we were with La Horde?” Gioia asked. “What the guys from Ocean’s 11 said, what they found about the Black Beetles. Selleck and his intern might be dead, but there’s still XPLICIT out there. Hadrian made it all the way through their top Stand to get this information.”
“We already have a mission, Gioia,” Ric growled. “Schioppo’s already chasing a vendetta, and we can’t afford anyone else running off chasing sidequests.”
“Sidequests?” Gioia chuckled sadly. “You’re starting to sound like Stefan.”
“He has a point, though,” Melanzane noted.
Gioia sighed, straightening her back and looking Ric and her father in the eye, each in turn. “It’s more than just Cecilia. I’m not going to let anything go half finished.”
Location - Somewhere outside Sacramento, California:
Clear skies and a nice, lazy morning, a man in a white suit with black floral designs reclined in a lawn chair on his porch and idly strummed on a banjo. Despite being a capo of a massive gang, a lone Lennon played for an audience of plants rather than people, dulcet chords floating out over the orchard.
All the Beetles’ warehouses were changed out, the shipping routes rerouted, and more to ensure others couldn’t get their hands on their product. Instead, the gang’s supplies of XPLICIT were being recalled, all stores sending it to a location.
All stores except one: Lennon’s pride and joy, this farm and his Stand ability had allowed him to maintain the stream of XPLICIT that they had, but all that was coming to an end too. XPLICIT wasn’t worth the hassle, before it was easy to measure out the product to prevent rampant Stand manifestation, but now that the cat was out of the bag, even just holding it was a liability.
Lennon had tried to keep his cash crop, even trying to create a hybrid to match its drug quality without the side effects. However, after countless debates with Carter, he ultimately agreed to burn this bridge and move on with the rest of their operations. At least the shipping lines they had set up were worth something.
SNAP!
The pick broke after days of use. Lennon frowned, before slipping off his ring. He pinched it between his fingers and, after a few picks and plucks to accustom himself to its weight and feel, resumed strumming. Even if the gang didn’t have much use for XPLICIT, others still did. And so, Lennon waited. He didn’t need to waste any manpower to take care of the farm, sooner or later there should be a Stand user or two coming.
All Lennon had to do was wait.
Location - San Francisco, California:
Kaito basked in the air of a sunny Californian winter morning. Not a flake of snow to be found, just a smile on his face, and a train ticket to Sacramento in his hand. The once-member of the Civil Disobedients, now disbanded, found himself walking with a purpose towards the train station. It really felt like he had turned over a new leaf. He was able to start putting the last few months behind him, and continue doing his own thing… which he had yet to decide what it would be.
Never mind a bout of teenage indecision; for Kaito, life was looking up. He had even begun reconnecting with another former Civil Disobedients member, Djimon! As the young brewmaster had angrily departed from the team during a stroke of poor luck, he thought he had ruined that particular relationship forever. But when he had accepted the call to join the Uncivil Umbra, there he found a familiar face in Djimon, and a mutual desire to rekindle the old friendship.
Making his way to the designated platform, he found himself now pondering the disbandment of Uncivil Umbra. It had only been hours, maybe a day or two at the most, but the level of purpose and comradery he had felt while he had been there was unmatched. He had set out to help collapse Lyte, and had succeeded in his task. Arrests were made, perhaps he had found a little too much fun in some particular destruction, but with the danger thwarted, he was able to just have fun with his Stand, act his age again!
On the horizon, a train sped towards the station, and as it pulled beside the platform, creaking to a halt, over the PA, a voice sounded.
“Now boarding for Sacramento.”
Finding a seat onboard, Kaito shoved his ticket into his pocket, staring out the window as he recalled what he had set out to do. He had heard bits and pieces about a certain vineyard through the grapevine—no pun intended. It was run by the Black Beetles, and inexplicably, the operation was tied to XPLICIT production.
If Kaito could have a hand in shutting it down, he’d do it.
Location - Somewhere outside Sacramento, California:
Kaito hopped out of the car at the given address, the taxi peeling away behind him. He looked around at the quaint entrance, the grass and shrubs scattered around the property neatly manicured. Kaito rubbed his fingers idly over the leaves in a shrub shaped in a way he had never seen before. For the supposed drug stockpile of a gang, the villa was oddly serene, quiet. No one and nothing in sight as he looked around. He had been expecting something else, although he couldn’t quite put what that was into words. Maybe some beaten up, foreclosed hideout? Blood splatters on the dirt, “No Trespassing” signs on a barbed wire fence? Soon, however, his eyes fell upon a person walking deeper into the property.
“Hey!”
The woman turned to face him, her guarded expression softening to one of recognition. A young man with whom her teammates had become very acquainted, and whose teammate she had the utmost respect for. Gioia waved out to him. “You must be Kaito. My name is Gioia Arancini. I’m a friend of Kris and Noriko’s.”
“Oh!” Kaito straightened out, smiling warmly and waving likewise. “Yeah, that’s me! Nice to finally meet you, Gioia.” Chuckling, he continued. “Fairy Fellers, what’s with me and running into you over and over again? Without you guys, I’m not sure I would’ve been able to take on that Fork-head!”
Gioia blinked, “Who?”
Kaito flushed slightly, “Don’t worry about it! It’s uh—he’s off doing his own thing I think, don’t worry about it!” In recovery, he gestured up the winding dirt road that led to the side of the property. “Let’s see what’s up, c’mon!”
The walk up the long path was fairly quiet, no signs of danger to be found. For a man that could control plants, it didn’t seem like any here would be too capable of harming anybody. Thornless white roses, a bed of 10 leafed clovers, a tree growing multiple different species of apples, an odorless rafflesia and other rare or mildly interesting plants.
As they continued walking they began to hear...a banjo playing in the distance? The performer could just barely be made out now: a man in a white suit with floral patterns, it seemed that one of the leaders of the Black Beetles was sitting right in front of them,
“Hello there,” Lennon waved to them as they approached, lazily rocking in a chair on the porch. “How’d you guys like my collection? Pretty neat, ain’t it?”
Kaito smirked, and broke into a sprint, 「Fujisawa Loser」 summoned behind him. “KANPAI!” He yelled out, a tendril of booze prepped to slam down on the front steps.
Lennon blinked, and tossed a black rose from his suit in his direction. The rose floated down and burst into a small cloud. Kaito stumbled, eyes watering. “ Ah sh… aah…..aaah….. Aachu..aachu!” He began to sneeze uncontrollably, falling to the ground clutching his stomach as it became more and more difficult to breathe, vision swimming as his eyes kept watering.
“Kaito!” Gioia yelled, reading herself into a sprinting position as well—
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you” Lennon chimed in, getting Gioia to pause slightly. “There’s still pollen hanging in the air. Besides, I just wanted to talk to you two. Nothing more.” Kaito’s sneezing began to subside, and he started taking deep breaths, gasping as if he had just been drowned and resurfaced.
“...Now, you two are here which means you should know how us Black Beetles work. What we’re doing.” Lennon raised his right hand and flashed a peculiar looking ring. “Now I promise you what I’m telling you is true. The Black Beetles are getting out of the XPLICIT business. Everything has been recalled or is being destroyed at this moment. Behind this house is my XPLICIT farm, I already cut their water supply and mostly killed the trees. I just need some people to help me break and toss them away.” Lennon extended his hand to the two of them, “Now that’s where you two could give me a hand.”
Kaito and Gioia look to each other. Kaito laughed. “So you want people more inclined to kick your ass to do your work for you? Maybe the rest of the gang is busy, huh?” He brushed the stubble on his chin. “You’re totally using us, right?”
“Does it matter?” Lennon stated. “You’re getting what you wanted, for free, and I’m prepared to give you something for the effort. I do have some information you guys may be interested, and you did come all this way to make sure the XPLICIT is gone, right?” Lennon stood up, “The choice is yours. You can leave, break the trees yourselves...”
Lennon walked up to the door. “Or you could try and fight me. I wouldn’t recommend it. Talk to me in the greenhouse behind the house once the deed is done.” With that, he went inside and closed the door.
Gioia and Kaito stared at the house, and glanced to each other awkwardly. There was absolutely no way that the house wasn’t trapped extensively.
“This is odd,” Gioia said simply. “You’re right in that we’re being used.”
“Yeah,” Kaito added. “I wanted to try a little fighting before I did what I came here to do, but….”
“But it would be near suicide to go in without extensive preparations of our own. Very likely fireproofed as well.”
Kaito shrugged. “Well, anyways!” He punched his fist. “I’mma go ahead and get started.”
Gioia quirked an eyebrow. “Even though we’re being used?”
Kaito scoffed. “So what, people have been using me for years. I don’t care, he gets something out of it and I get a good time. Win win.” He began walking to the back, everything he wanted to say said.
Gioia sighed, but she could see his point. She didn’t want to leave the existence of this orchard to continue, and she’d prefer to ensure this herself. Besides that, the information Lennon could give was tantalizing. To have any advantage going forward to her next battle….
She turned away hesitantly from the house and followed Kaito, bemused.
When the two walked around to the back, a vast orchard open up before them, row upon row upon row of trees stretching out into the distance. Yet, rather than bearing fruit, strange pods hung from their branches, their contents apparent to both.
“Hey, Gioia,” Kaito piped up, Gioia turning to face him in acknowledgement. “You remember that time at the swamp, yeah?”
“Yes...what about it?”
“You got us pretty good back there, but I’m running it back,” Kaito smirked. “There’s a lot of trees we gotta smash, so we may as well make this fun. Whoever breaks more of them wins?” He offered her his hand.
Gioia chuckled softly. Her reputation had preceded her, and if this “sidequest” could include a friendly competition, there was little reason to decline. She placed her hand into his, shaking it firmly. “Very well. You’re on, Kaito.”
Kaito squeezed her hand with an enthusiastic grin, shaking it wildly. The buildup to the starting gun always got his blood pumping. He had this competition in the bag. What were a few wimpy trees compared to a raging fire, anyway? Bringing his hand back to his side, he gave Gioia one last glance, both readying themselves to a starting position.
“Three…” began Kaito. “Two…”
“GO!” Shouted Gioia with a laugh, running off into the orchard, a flustered Kaito following suit, yelling after her.
“You didn’t ‘open the game’!”
Location: Lennon’s XPLICIT farm in Sacramento, CA. In front of you, arranged into a square are four square plots of Lennon’s trees, each about an acre big (about 60 x 60 meters each) with trees bearing pod-fruit structures containing unprocessed XPLICIT. Separating the orchard into these quadrants are dirt paths, 4 meters wide.
There are about 5 meters in between the rows of trees and each column contains 30 trees spaced around 2 meters apart. This means each acre contains 360 trees for 1440 trees total. Each tree is only around 2 meters tall, but are fairly durable for their size at around C Durability and well rooted. Given the spacing of the trees, fires wouldn’t be able to jump or spread too easily and it is impossible for them to spread across different rows from their position.
Behind the players is a large tool shed and every 20 meters around the edges of the field are industrial sized plant waste containers. The tool shed has everything from chainsaws to shovels to pesticide and anything else a farm or gardener may need. On the opposite side of the area, across the field from the players is a vehicle shed with farming vehicles such as tractors, motorized lifts, plows, cultivators, etc.
Goal: Destroy more trees than your opponent! Attacking your opponent would violate the competition you’ve set for yourself and result in an immediate loss, but you can mess with them.
Additional Information: Lennon has left a note saying “Help yourself” on the tool shed door and you are free to take whatever you want from inside to start off the match with or take during the match. Lennon has also made the same note on the vehicle shed and the keys to the vehicles are in their ignition. Lennon doesn’t care whatever method you use to get rid of trees as long as the job is done.
Since the XPLICIT is in its unprocessed form, trying to use it has no effect beyond tasting really bad.
Team Combatant JoJolity
Fairy Fellers Gioia Arancini “It’s the second tree from the right. Memorize it. Make sure you don’t forget that spot.” If you’re gonna do this job, it better be done thoroughly. Destroy trees from as large an area as possible over the course of this match!
Civil Disobedients Yuigahama Kaito “Shit, I gotta find it...there should be some sodium chlorate here!” This is your golden ticket to do some demolition, but you’re here to have fun too. Mix things up and use as many different ways for destruction as you can!
Link to the Official Player Spreadsheet
Link to R6 Match Schedule
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A thousand words wasn't enough? Here's five thousand.

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corps corpus correct corrected correction corrections correctly correlation correspondence corresponding corruption cos cosmetic cosmetics cost costa costs costume costumes cottage cottages cotton could council councils counsel counseling count counted counter counters counties counting countries country counts county couple coupled couples coupon coupons courage courier course courses court courtesy courts cove cover coverage covered covering covers cow cowboy cox cp cpu cr crack cradle craft crafts craig crap craps crash crawford crazy cream create created creates creating creation creations creative creativity creator creature creatures credit credits creek crest crew cricket crime crimes criminal crisis criteria criterion critical criticism critics crm croatia crop crops cross crossing crossword crowd crown crucial crude cruise cruises cruz cry crystal cs css cst ct ctrl cu cuba cube cubic cuisine cult cultural culture cultures cum cumshot cumshots cumulative cunt cup cups cure curious currencies currency current currently curriculum cursor curtis curve curves custody custom customer customers customise customize customized customs cut cute cuts cutting cv cvs cw cyber cycle cycles cycling cylinder cyprus cz czech d da dad daddy daily dairy daisy dakota dale dallas dam damage damaged damages dame damn dan dana dance dancing danger dangerous daniel danish danny dans dare dark darkness darwin das dash dat data database databases date dated dates dating daughter daughters dave david davidson davis dawn day days dayton db dc dd ddr de dead deadline deadly deaf deal dealer dealers dealing deals dealt dealtime dean dear death deaths debate debian deborah debt debug debut dec decade decades december decent decide decided decimal decision decisions deck declaration declare declared decline declined decor decorating decorative decrease decreased dedicated dee deemed deep deeper deeply deer def default defeat defects defence defend defendant defense defensive deferred 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evaluated evaluating evaluation evaluations evanescence evans eve even evening event events eventually ever every everybody everyday everyone everything everywhere evidence evident evil evolution ex exact exactly exam examination examinations examine examined examines examining example examples exams exceed excel excellence excellent except exception exceptional exceptions excerpt excess excessive exchange exchanges excited excitement exciting exclude excluded excluding exclusion exclusive exclusively excuse exec execute executed execution executive executives exempt exemption exercise exercises exhaust exhibit exhibition exhibitions exhibits exist existed existence existing exists exit exotic exp expand expanded expanding expansion expansys expect expectations expected expects expedia expenditure expenditures expense expenses expensive experience experienced experiences experiencing experiment experimental experiments expert expertise experts expiration expired expires explain 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  1. Barron's CCRN Exam: Juarez, APN, CCNS, CCRN-K, Patricia
  2. Microeconomics, Student Value, 7th Edition: Jeffrey M. Perloff
  3. Cracking the AP Psychology Exam, 2017 Edition: Proven Techniques to Help You Score a 5 (College Test Preparation): Princeton Review
  4. Introduction to Abnormal Child and Adolescent Psychology, 3rd Edition: Robert Weis
  5. Managerial Economics, 4th Edition: Luke M. Froeb & Brian T. McCann & Michael R. Ward & Mike Shor
  6. Writing that Works: Communicating Effectively on the Job: Walter E. Oliu & Charles T. Brusaw & Gerald J. Alred
  7. Horngren's Financial & Managerial Accounting, The Financial Chapters, Global 5th Edition: Tracie L. Miller-Nobles & Brenda L. Mattison & Ella Mae Matsumura
  8. Biology: The Dynamic Science: Peter J. Russell, Paul E. Hertz, Beverly McMillan
  9. CCENT ICND1 100-105 Exam Cram: Anthony Sequeira
  10. 31 Days Before Your CCNA Routing & Switching Exam: A Day-By-Day Review Guide for the ICND1/CCENT (100-105), ICND2 (200-105), and CCNA (200-125) Certification Exams: Allan Johnson
  11. Global Capitalism: Its Fall and Rise in the Twentieth Century: Jeffry A. Frieden
  12. The Origins of the Modern World: A Global and Environmental Narrative from the Fifteenth to the Twenty-First Century (World Social Change), 3rd Edition: Robert B. Marks
  13. Transformations: Women, Gender and Psychology, 2nd Edition: Mary Crawford
  14. Strategic Compensation: A Human Resource Management Approach, Global 8th Edition, : Joseph J. Martocchio
  15. Terrorism in the 21st Century, 7th Edition: Cynthia C. Combs
  16. Campbell Biology, Canadian 2nd Edition: Steven A. Wasserman
  17. Barron's ACT, 2nd edition (Barron's Act (Book Only)): Brian W. Stewart
  18. The Official ACT Prep Guide: ACT
  19. Ultimate Guide to the Math ACT: Richard Corn
  20. Corporate Communication (Irwin Business Communications), 7th Edition: Paul A Argenti
  21. Biological Psychology, 12th Edition: James W. Kalat
  22. Financial Accounting: IFRS, 3rd Edition: Jerry J. Weygandt & Paul D. Kimmel & Donald E. Kieso
  23. Society and Technological Change, 7th Edition: Rudi Volti
  24. Java Foundations: Pearson New International 3rd Edition: John Lewis & Peter DePasquale & Joe Chase
  25. University Physics with Modern Physics, 14th Edition: Hugh D. Young & Roger A. Freedman & A. Lewis Ford & Francis Weston Sears
  26. Gateways to Art: Understanding the Visual Arts, 2nd Edition: Debra J. DeWitte & Ralph M. Larmann & M. Kathryn Shields
  27. Essentials of Abnormal Psychology, 7th Edition: V. Mark Durand & David H. Barlow
  28. Finite Mathematics, 6th Edition: Stefan Waner & Steven Costenoble
  29. New Perspectives Microsoft Office 365 & Access 2016: Comprehensive: Mark Shellman & Sasha Vodnik
  30. Environment: The Science behind the Stories: Jay H. Withgott & Matthew Laposata
  31. Digital Planet: Tomorrow's Technology and You, Introductory (Computers Are Your Future), 10th Edition: Ben Beekman & George Beekman
  32. Architecture and Interior Design: An Integrated History to the Present: Buie Harwood & Bridget May & Curt Sherman
  33. Curren's Math for Meds: Dosages and Solutions, 11th Edition: Anna M. Curren & Margaret Witt
  34. The Legal Environment of Business: Text and Cases, 10th Edition: Frank B. Cross & Roger LeRoy Miller
  35. Prentice Hall's Federal Taxation 2015 Comprehensive: Thomas R. Pope & Timothy J. Rupert & Kenneth E. Anderson
  36. Drug Use and Abuse: A Comprehensive Introduction, 9th Edition: Howard Abadinsky
  37. Davis's Canadian Drug Guide for Nurses, 15th Edition: April Hazard Vallerand & Cynthia A Sanoski & Judith Hopfer Deglin
  38. Psychology, 12th Edition: Carole Wade & Carol Tavris
  39. How to Nurse: Gweneth Hartrick Doane & Colleen Varcoe
  40. The Advertising Concept Book: Think Now, Design Later, 3rd Edition: Pete Barry
  41. Software, Infrastructure, Labor: A Media Theory of Logistical Nightmares: Ned Rossiter
  42. Organic Chemistry, 8th Edition: Paula Yurkanis Bruice
  43. Humanities: Culture, Continuity and Change, The, Volume I, 3rd Edition: Henry M. Sayre
  44. Financial Accounting, 9th Edition: Robert Libby
  45. Preface to Marketing Management, 14th Edition: J. Paul Peter
  46. Fundamentals of Differential Equations, 9th Edition: R. Kent Nagle & Edward B. Saff & Arthur David Snider
  47. New Dimensions in Women's Health: Linda Lewis Alexander & William Alexander & Judith H. LaRosa & Helaine Bader
  48. Essentials of Economics, 10th Edition: Bradley Schiller
  49. Purchasing and Supply Management (The Mcgraw-Hill Series in Operations and Decision Sciences), 15th Edition: P. Fraser Johnson
  50. Biological Science, 6th Edition: Scott Freeman,Kim Quillin,Lizabeth Allison,Michael Black,Emily Taylor,Author
  51. Critical Thinking: A Students Introduction, 5th Edition: Gregory Bassham & William Irwin & Henry Nardone & James Wallace
  52. Music for Sight Singing, 6th Edition: Thomas E. Benjamin & Michael Horvit & Robert S. Nelson
  53. Microsoft Office 2013: Advanced (Shelly Cashman Series): Misty E. Vermaat
  54. Entrepreneurship, 4th Edition: Andrew Zacharakis & William D. Bygrave & Andrew C. Corbett
  55. Blockchain: Ultimate guide to understanding blockchain, bitcoin, cryptocurrencies, smart contracts and the future of money: Mark Gates
  56. Understanding Computers: Today and Tomorrow, Comprehensive, 16th Edition: Deborah Morley & Charles S. Parker
  57. The Boundaries of Australian Property Law: Hossein Esmaeili & Brendan Grigg
  58. New Perspectives on Computer Concepts 2016, Introductory: June Jamrich Parsons
  59. California Politics and Government: A Practical Approach, 14th Edition: Larry N. Gerston & Terry Christensen
  60. Foodservice Organizations: A Managerial and Systems Approach, 8th Edition: Mary B. Gregoire
  61. The Elements of Moral Philosophy, 8th Edition: James Rachels
  62. Social Science: An Introduction to the Study of Society, 16th Edition: Elgin F. Hunt & David C. Colander
  63. Psychiatric Nursing, 7th Edition: Norman L. Keltner & Debbie Steele
  64. Microsoft SQL Server 2016: A Beginner's Guide, Sixth Edition (Beginner's Guides): Dusan Petkovic
  65. The Analytic Hospitality Executive: Implementing Data Analytics in Hotels and Casinos (Wiley and SAS Business Series): Kelly A. McGuire
  66. Diseases of the Human Body, 6th edition: Carol D Tamparo
  67. Principles of Corporate Finance (Mcgraw-Hill/Irwin Series in Finance, Insurance, and Real Estate): Richard Brealey
  68. Gerontological Nursing, 8th Edition: Charlotte Eliopoulos
  69. How to Use SPSS®: A Step-By-Step Guide to Analysis and Interpretation, 9th Edition: Brian C Cronk
  70. What is Life? A Guide to Biology, 3rd Edition: Jay Phelan
  71. Archaeology: Theories, Methods, and Practice (Seventh Edition): Colin Renfrew & Paul Bahn
  72. Problem Solving and Program Design in C, 8th Edition: Jeri R. Hanly & Elliot B. Koffman
  73. Economics, 4th Edition: Paul Krugman & Robin Wells
  74. Strategic Brand Management, Global 4th Edition: Kevin Keller
  75. Winningham's Critical Thinking Cases in Nursing: Medical-Surgical, Pediatric, Maternity, and Psychiatric, 6th Edition: Mariann M. Harding & Julie S. Snyder
  76. Maternal-Newborn Nursing The Critical Components of Nursing Care, 2nd Edition: Roberta Durham & Linda Chapman
  77. Object-Oriented Software Engineering: An Agile Unified Methodology: David Kung
  78. Ebersole and Hess' Gerontological Nursing and Healthy Aging, Canadian 1st Edition: Theris A. Touhy & Kathleen F Jett & Veronique Boscart & Lynn McCleary
  79. Varcarolis's Canadian Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing, Canadian 1st Edition: Margaret Jordan Halter
  80. Understanding Global Cultures: Metaphorical Journeys Through 34 Nations, Clusters of Nations, Continents, and Diversity, 6th Edition: Martin J. Gannon & Rajnandini K. Pillai
  81. Principles of Contract Law, 3d (Concise Hornbook Series): Robert Hillman
  82. Understanding Motor Development: Infants, Children, Adolescents, Adults, 7th edition: David Gallahue & John Ozmun & Jacqueline Goodway
  83. Maternal, Fetal, & Neonatal Physiology (Maternal Fetal and Neonatal Physiology), 4th Edition: Susan Blackburn
  84. Japanese From Zero! 1: Proven Techniques to Learn Japanese for Students and Professionals: George Trombley
  85. Making Sense of Mass Education: Gordon Tait
  86. Starting Out with Java: From Control Structures through Objects, 6th Edition: Tony Gaddis
  87. Grant's Dissector, 16th edition: Alan J. Detton
  88. Principles of Information Systems, 13th Edition: Ralph Stair & George Reynolds
  89. OAuth 2 in Action: Justin Richer & Antonio Sanso
  90. Study Guide for Fundamentals of Nursing: Geralyn Ochs
  91. Shelly Cashman Series Microsoft Office 365 & Access 2016: Comprehensive: Philip J. Pratt & Mary Z. Last
  92. Mastering the Requirements Process: Getting Requirements Right, 3rd Edition: Suzanne Robertson & James Robertson
  93. CISSP Guide to Security Essentials, 2nd Edition: Peter Gregory
  94. Hacking Exposed Windows: Microsoft Windows Security Secrets and Solutions, 3rd Edition: Joel Scambray
  95. Campbell Biologie: Gymnasiale Oberstufe (Pearson Studium - Biologie Schule) (German Edition): Neil A. Campbell & Jane B. Reece
  96. Linux Hardening in Hostile Networks: Server Security from TLS to Tor (Pearson Open Source Software Development Series): Kyle Rankin
  97. Fundamentals of Electric Circuits, 6th Edition: Charles Alexander
  98. A History of Western Society Since 1300, Advanced Placement: John P. McKay & Bennett D. Hill & John Buckler & Clare Haru Crowston & Merry E. Wiesner-Hanks & Joe Perry
  99. Ways of the World with Sources for AP*: Robert W. Strayer & Eric W. Nelson
  100. The Earth and Its Peoples: A Global History, Volume I: To 1550, 6th Edition: Richard Bulliet & Pamela Crossley & Daniel Headrick & Steven Hirsch & Lyman Johnson
  101. Voyages in World History, Volume 2, 3rd Edition: Valerie Hansen & Ken Curtis
  102. Probability & Statistics for Engineers and Scientists with R: Michael Akritas
  103. Crime, Victims and Justice: Essays on Principles and Practice: Marijke Malsch
  104. Contemporary Business, Canadian Edition: Louis E. Boone & David L. Kurtz & Michael Khan & Brahm Canzer
  105. Automation, Production Systems, and Computer-Integrated Manufacturing, 4th Edition: Mikell P. Groover
  106. Accounting, 26th Edition: Carl S. Warren & James M. Reeve & Jonathan Duchac
  107. Social Psychology, 9th Edition: Elliot Aronson & Timothy D Wilson & Samuel R. Sommers
  108. Cracks in the Schoolyard—Confronting Latino Educational Inequality: Gilberto Q. Conchas
  109. The Internet of Risky Things: Trusting the Devices That Surround Us: Sean Smith
  110. Foundations of Business, 5th Edition: William M. Pride & Robert J. Hughes & Jack R. Kapoor
  111. Effective Help Desk Specialist Skills: Darril Gibson
  112. Social Psychology, 12th Edition: David Myers
  113. Becoming a Critical Thinker: A User-Friendly Manual, 6th Edition: Sherry Diestler
  114. Prioritization, Delegation, and Assignment - E-Book: Practice Excercises for the NCLEX Exam: Linda A. LaCharity & Candice K. Kumagai & Barbara Bartz
  115. Qualitative Inquiry in Neoliberal Times (International Congress of Qualitative Inquiry Series): Unknown
  116. The Official (ISC)2 Guide to the SSCP CBK, 4th Edition: Adam Gordon & Steven Hernandez
  117. Fundamentals of Futures and Options Markets, 9th Edition: John C. Hull
  118. Practice Makes Perfect: Advanced French Grammar: All You Need to Know For Better Communication (Practice Makes Perfect Series): Véronique Mazet
  119. New Grade 9-1 GCSE Chemistry: AQA Revision Guide: CGP Books
  120. New Grade 9-1 GCSE Biology: AQA Revision Guide: CGP Books
  121. New Grade 9-1 GCSE Physics: AQA Revision Guide: CGP Books
  122. Project Management For Dummies, 4th edition: Portny, Stanley E.
  123. PMP Project Management Professional Review Guide, 3rd Edition: Kim Heldman
  124. PMP® Certification All-in-One For Dummies®, 2nd Edition: Snyder, Cynthia
  125. PMP® Exam Simplified: Updated for 2016 Exam (PMP® Exam Prep Series Book 4), 5th Edition: Aileen Ellis
  126. The Complete ‘Ace Your PMP® Exam’ Series: Essential PMP® Concepts Simplified: Shiv Shenoy
  127. Crack the New (2016) PMP® Exam in 4 Weeks: Using Simple, Proven, Step-by-Step Approach (Ace Your PMP® Exam): Shiv Shenoy
  128. PMP Project Management Professional Study Guide, 4th Edition (Certification Press): Joseph Phillips
  129. Public Policy: Politics, Analysis, and Alternatives, 5th Edition: Michael E. Kraft & Scott R. Furlong
  130. Working With Challenging Parents of Students With Special Needs: Jean Cheng Gorman
  131. Statistics in Practice, 1st Edition: David S. Moore & William I. Notz & Michael A. Fligner
  132. Introduction to Programming with C++,International Edition, 3rd Edition: Y Daniel Liang
  133. Focus on Personal Finance, 5th Edition: Les Dlabay & Robert J. Hughes & Jack Kapoor & Melissa Hart
  134. Leviathan: Thomas Hobbes, Edwin Curley
  135. Exploring Microsoft Word 2016 Comprehensive (Exploring for Office 2016 Series): Mary Anne Poatsy & Linda Lau & Lynn Hogan
  136. Real World Psychology, 2nd Edition: Catherine A. Sanderson & Karen Huffman
  137. Sociology: A Down-to-Earth Approach, 13th Edition: James M Henslin

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I made a list of every crime committed in The Office and it only took seven months

Below I’ve listed every law that was broken in The Office (from destruction of property and battery to homicide and kidnapping) whether legal action was taken or not, as well as ideas that people had that were illegal; I’m not a legal expert, I just have a lot of much free time (I labeled the episodes the same way that Netflix does.)
S1E3: Dwight claims that multiple people in the office forged medical forms for their health insurance plans
S1E6: Michael claims that Dunder Mifflin employees in the 80’s constantly used cocaine
S2E1: Pam, Kelly, and Phyllis reveal that there is something written on the women’s bathroom wall, later Pam reveals to Jim that she was the one who wrote it; people throw food at Michael (would fall under battery)
S2E2: Packer reveals that he’s been convicted of a DUI
S2E3: Dwight reveals that sometimes teenagers use his farm for sex (depending on their ages, this may be illegal as the Pennsylvania age of consent is sixteen)
S2E6: Dwight punches Michael in the stomach twice with considerable force (Michael does bait him into doing it though)
S2E8: Jim punctures a hole in Dwight’s “fitness orb” with a pair of scissors; it is implied that a former accountant killed himself; Dwight reveals that he made a copy of Michael’s key to the office
S2E10: Meredith flashes Michael in his office
S2E11: Michael tells everyone on the cruise that the ship is sinking when there’s no danger (creating a false panic is illegal in most cases)
S2E12: Dwight crashes his car into a telephone pole outside of the office and leaves his bumper in the street
S2E14: Michael says that Packer once held a man’s head into a toilet; it is also implied that Packer was the one who defecated in Michael’s office
S2E15: Michael causes lots of damage in the warehouse by improperly using the lift (he also doesn’t have a license to operate it)
S2E16: Michael jaywalks (technically illegal though typically not enforced); Michael comments that someone was pooping in a cardboard box in the subway
S2E17: Dwight tackles Ryan, Creed, and Stanley to the ground
S2E19: Michael finds out that he’s involved in a pyramid scheme
S2E20: Dwight finds a joint in the parking lot (Pennsylvania didn’t make steps to decriminalize marijuana until 2014); Michael believes he unknowingly smoked marijuana at a concert; Dwight gives Michael some of his urine so that he can pass a drug test
S2E21: Creed faces sideways after his company photo is taken, implying that he’s been arrested in the past
S2E22: Creed steals casino chips and also admits to stealing things all of the time; Dwight kisses Angela and she hits him in response (though it seems like both parties were okay with the outcome)
S3E1: Roy reveals that he was arrested for drunk driving
S3E4: Creed reveals that the reason Ed Truck got decapitated was because he was driving drunk (though this was never confirmed and Creed tends to lie); the bird funeral is lit on fire (probably illegal as they did not have a permit and it was mainly paper and not wood)
S3E5: Ryan and Dwight egg the front of Axelrod Ltd’s building
S3E6: Jim rides his bike drunk (believe it or not, this is actually illegal)
S3E7: Creed sells office equipment
S3E8: Andy steals a computer from the Stamford office; after poking holes in everyone’s tires, Michael claims it was Vance Refrigeration workers that did it
S3E9: It is revealed that Martin went to jail for insider trading; Kevin admits that insider trading sounds a lot like what he does as well
S3E10: Creed removes a present from the charity box (removing uncollected items from charity drives is theft); Pam reveals that she has been sending fake letters from the CIA to Dwight, Jim later gets involved (illegal to pass yourself off as a CIA agent)
S3E13: Andy punches a hole through the wall
S3E16: Michael reveals that his eighth grade teacher hooked up with at least thirteen students; Dwight reveals that he hunted a werewolf as a child, but it’s more likely that he killed his neighbor’s dog; Dwight traps a bat in a bag over Meredith’s head
S3E17: Creed reveals that he has a side business where he makes fake IDs for teens; Creed also reveals that he stole a laminating machine from the sheriff’s station; Dwight accidentally damages David’s roof while inspecting the chimney; Roy and his brother destroy multiple objects in a bar including a mirror, a chair, and multiple glasses (Roy’s brother later reveals that he paid off the bar owner to not call the cops on them)
S3E18: Roy attempts to assault Jim in the office after finding out he kissed Pam; Dwight uses pepper spray on Roy when he attempts to assault Jim (this was done defense of Jim however); Jim reveals that Dwight has weapons such as nunchucks and throwing stars hidden in the office; Dwight uses pepper spray against Andy; Dwight is found to have more weapons hidden in his desk such as brass knuckles, a police baton, and a taser
S3E19: Darryl reveals that Michael once kicked a ladder out from under him and caused him to break his ankle; Michael accidentally smashes a watermelon on the roof of someone’s car; Michael tries to convince the office that he’s going to commit suicide
S3E20: A former Dunder Mifflin employee from the paper mill put a watermark of two cartoon animals having sex on about five-hundred boxes-worth of paper; Creed frames Debbie Brown from the paper mill for not catching the watermark on the paper, which results in her termination; it was revealed that Andy was unknowingly dating a high schooler (only illegal if they had sexual contact); Andy reveals that he and his high school girlfriend knocked over a mailbox with her friends
S3E21: Phyllis claims that she was flashed by a man in the parking lot; when Jim calls the police to report the flasher, he says that the police have already gotten three calls; Creed implies that he has flashed people in the past; Jan offers Michael money in return for him driving to New York and having sex (it is illegal to accept or pay money for sex, even if the other person is not a prostitute); Meredith throws her trash out of her car window onto the street while also driving recklessly; while parking her car, Meredith scrapes another car; Creed reveals that he uses the women’s bathroom for bowel movements and has “paid dearly” for it in the past; Dwight and Andy put up barbed wire on the parking lot fence of the office (using barbed wire is typically illegal if the fence is adjacent to a public street)
S3E22: Michael lights a bonfire on the beach (he likely did not have a fire permit)
S3E23: Jim and Karen sneak into a theater to see the second half of Spamalot (would technically burglary, believe it or not, since they snuck in with the intent of stealing services); Jan claims that the reason she is being fired from Dunder Mifflin is because of her breast implants (though David says it is because of her work ethic)
S4E1: Michael hits Meredith with his car and fractures her pelvis; Dwight attempts to mercy kill Angela’s cat by trapping it in her freezer
S4E2: Michael claims that when he was a child, he had a foreign exchange student living with him that stole all of his blue jeans when he went back to his home country; Kelly tells Ryan that she is pregnant with his child in an attempt to get him to go on a date with her (this could fall under intentional infliction of emotional distress)
S4E3: Michael and Dwight detain the pizza deliveryman in the office conference room; Dwight reveals that the pizza deliveryman steals hemp from his farm; Andy reveals that he stole the ice sculpture he brought to the party; Michael and Dwight steal a tray of sushi and some accessories from a restaurant
S4E4: Dwight admits that the permits on the bed and breakfast side of Schrute Farms are still pending even though he is actively taking customers; Creed reveals that he has a second identity that he transfers his debt to; Michael and Jan are likely trespassing while they are sitting on the stationed train
S4E6: Dwight attempts to create molotov cocktails to throw in the Utica office; Michael drives recklessly on the highway; while stealing the Utica branch’s industrial copier, Michael and Dwight break it; Dwight reveals more weapons that he has in the office, including a pack of knives, a pair of sai, a sword, and a blowdart (having these weapons in the open is not illegal, but concealing them is)
S4E8: Michael purgers himself during Jan’s deposition
S4E9: Jan throws a Dundie at Michael’s TV and breaks it
S4E10: It is revealed that the model from Micahel’s chair catalog died in a car accident (Dwight says that she was stoned at the time and crashed into the side of an airplane hanger)
S4E11: Ryan states that the Dunder Mifflin website was infiltrated by sexual predators (only illegal if they used it to transmit child pornography or arrange meetings with minors with the intent of sexual contact); it is heavily implied that Ryan and his friend Troy are under the influence of cocaine
S4E12: Michael places his face in wet cement outside of the office (would be considered destruction of property)
S4E13: Andy drives a golf cart recklessly and ends up destroying its roof (and potentially the cart as well)
S4E14: Jim sets up Dwight’s cell and work phones to go to his Bluetooth and pretends to be him when clients call (could fall under criminal impersonation); Ryan commits fraud by having people re-record sales and is arrested for it; Dwight, Meredith, and Mose release a raccoon into Holly’s car (only illegal if it does damage to her car)
S5E1: Phyllis blackmails Angela by threatening to reveal Angela and Dwight’s affair unless she lets Phyllis run the Party Planning Committee
S5E3: Kelly reveals that she downloads pirated music onto her work computer, to which Michael responds, “who hasn’t”; Meredith reveals that she’s been sleeping with a supplier in exchange for discounts on supplies and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates (could fall under the scope of prostitution); Michael threatens to kill everyone if they don’t go to the conference room
S5E4: Dwight tries to destroy Jan’s $1,200 stroller
S5E5: The office is robbed after Michael and Holly forget to lock the office’s front door; Creed implies that he made the last person who stole from him disappear, and that he stole the identity Creed Bratton from them
S5E7: Kelly falsifies customer surveys regarding Jim and Dwight
S5E9: Michael attempts to purchase marijuana from two Vance Refrigeration workers, and they trick him into buying a salad in a bag rather than drugs (intent to purchase illegal drugs is illegal, and so is selling counterfeit drugs); Michael and Dwight attempt to frame Toby with drug trafficking and possession of marijuana; when the cops arrive, Creed becomes incredibly worried that he’ll be arrested, implying that he either has drugs in the office, or is a drug dealer
S5E10: Dwight tricks Angela into marrying him (this would be considered fraudulently inducing someone into marriage)
S5E11: Creed is seen smoking out of a pipe likely containing kif, which has cannabis in it; Creed says that he can get fire permits very quickly, implying that they are possibly fake; Michael forces Meredith into going to a rehab facility (technically falls under the definition of kidnapping)
S5E12: Jim uncovers more weapons that Dwight has hidden throughout the office; Andy pins Dwight against a fence with his car, Dwight dents Andy’s car
S5E13: Jim connects a red wire to Dwight’s computer which leads outside to the top of the power pole (would qualify as vandalism to the pole); Michael and Dwight attempt to learn information about a competitor under the guise of a potential customer and potential employee (could be considered corporate espionage, but I couldn’t find any specifics)
S5E14: Dwight induces panic law by simulating a fire in the office, he additionally damages multiple doors and cuts the phone wires; during the fire drill, multiple office employees damage items in the office including ceiling tiles, the copier machine, and the vending machine; Dwight reveals that he is planning a bomb scare; Dwight is shown to have a hunting knife strapped to his ankle, and he uses this knife to cut apart the CPR dummy (though corporate payed for the damages to the dummy); Andy, Jim, and Pam watch a pirated film
S5E15: Dwight buys cookies from Toby in exchange for him signing a form (quid pro quo on this is illegal); Dwight attempts to have his coworkers sign his form under the guise of it being a sign-in sheet; Michael throws full slices of bread on the ground to feed pigeons (it was winter and there were no birds, so this could be considered littering)
S5E16: Jim cuts the cord that connects Michael’s phone to the office’s PA system; Dwight finds out that Kelly went to juvenile detention when she was younger; Creed gives Jim a $3 bill (counterfeit money is illegal)
S5E17: Creed says he knows where to buy a kid for $7,000; it’s revealed that the reason Kelly was in juvenile detention was because she stole her boyfriend’s father’s boat; Michael cuts off a sleeve from Holly’s sweater; Michael also takes a file off of Holly’s computer (would be classified as unauthorized computer access)
S5E18: Phyllis and Bob have sex in a restaurant bathroom (this is technically public sex which is a misdemeanor); Creed steals a bag of blood from the blood drive
S5E19: Dwight slaps Michael; Jim slaps Dwight
S5E20: Dwight pretends to have kidnapped David’s son
S5E21: Michael sneaks back into the office after being asked to leave (technically trespassing as it is private property and he was escorted out of the building)
S5E22: Michael breaks his condominium agreement by having the Michael Scott Paper Company located within his condo (though the owner only sent a warning that he needed to stop); Ryan steals three pairs of bowling shoes before he quits the bowling alley; Michael asks Billy to sell him a ‘secret office space’ off of the books within the Scranton Business Park
S5E23: Dwight claims that a woman named Haddie McGonagle was murdered in the Dunder Mifflin office space in 1816 (though he probably made this up)
S5E24: Dwight steals supplies and files from the Michael Scott Paper Company’s office
S5E26: While fixing her dress, Meredith accidentally reveals one of her breasts, as well as her crotch and her backside (was accidental, but could be considered public indecency)
S5E27: Dwight cuts open the back of Phyllis’ blouse so he can give her a massage; Creed reveals that he doesn’t have any mirrors in his car that let him see behind the car (in Pennsylvania, it is illegal to drive without at least one mirror that lets you see behind the car)
S5E28: Dwight’s friend Rolph once inquired about shoes that increased speed and didn’t leave any tracks, implying that he was going to commit a crime
S6E1: Stanley wrecks Michael’s car with a tire iron
S6E2: Dwight and Toby accidentally crash into a few trash cans outside Darryl’s house; Dwight uncovers that the real cause of Darryl’s injury was from misuse of company equipment
S6E4: Michael ties full beer cans to the back of his car which left debris all over the road; Dwight implies that Mose is going to be castrating horses (only legal if Mose has a veterinary license, which is unlikely); Dwight also claims that he has a device which can make hamburgers out of horse meat without killing the horse (likely animal cruelty)
S6E5: The Niagara Falls hotel staff incinerated Kevin’s shoes (they claim they did it because it was a safety issue); Dwight gifts a turtle to Jim and Pam for their wedding and appears to not have made any holes in the box (likely animal cruelty); Dwight accidentally kicks Isabel in the face while dancing
S6E6: While answering Jim’s phone, Kevin pretends to be Jim and accidentally cancels his credit cards
S6E7: Dwight secretly records the conversations in Jim’s office (Pennsylvania has a two-party consent law which means that all parties in the conversations must consent to being recorded); Andy talks about a 60 Minutes segment that went into working conditions of a paper mill in Peru (the 60 Minutes segment likely went into illegal conditions within the mill)
S6E8: Meredith reveals that she has had sex with a known terrorist; while writing down things that people don’t want to be made fun of for, Creed says that if he writes his down, he cannot be charged for it; a custodian reveals that when Michael fell into the koi pond, he accidentally killed one of the fish
S6E9: Ryan shows Erin a topless photo of Kelly in the office (could be considered indecent exposure since it was in a public space within the office); Creed implies that a shipping order was never supposed to reach it’s location, possibly indicating that he stole a shipment
S6E10: Creed flees the office when Michael tells him that there was a murder and that he was a suspect, implying that he may be involved in a murder
S6E12: Dwight secretly records a phone call between Jim and David
S6E13: As part of Secret Santa, Andy gives Erin the Twelve Days of Christmas, inadvertently resulting in physical injury to her and potentially her home and car; Creed implies that he’s done “evil” things; Michael says that he has often claimed to be David’s childrens’ pediatrician to get him on the phone
S6E16: Andy accidentally gives Meredith a large paper cut on her throat; Ryan implies to Dwight that they should torture Jim
S6E17: While escorting Jim and Pam to the hospital, Dwight puts a police light on the top of his car; Michael uses his phone to text and make a call while driving; when being pulled over, Dwight throws multiple large weapons out his window; Michael parks in an ambulance-only parking spot
S6E18: Dwight breaks a window to enter Jim and Pam’s home; after breaking in, Dwight discovers mold in their home and destroys walls and cabinets with a crew of workers so he can refurbish their kitchen; Jim comments that he had five parking tickets on his windshield
S6E20: Creed tries to act casual when Michael announces that the lost and found has gone missing, implying he may have stolen it; Andy aggressively tries to take a pen from Darryl (could be considered battery); Dwight strangles Kevin in an attempt to get information from him; Michael and Dwight, and then later Andy and Erin, walk around the Scranton dump (would be considered trespassing); Michael and Dwight throw large pieces of garbage at each other; Michael and Dwight take two chairs from the dump
S6E21: Phyllis claims she likes getting men to flirt with her so that Bob will beat them up; Michael accidentally damages multiple objects while being reckless at the bar; Dwight breaks his contract with Angela (unsure as to whether a lawyer was involved with the first contract, but Angela served Dwight with a summons for breaking it, leading me to believe it was legitimate); Hide admits that he killed a Yakuza boss on purpose and then came to America illegally
S6E22: Meredith steals and uses Pam’s breast pump
S6E24: Michael hires Dwight to follow Donna around to see if she’s cheating on him (following someone isn’t illega, but it could be considered stalking or harassment); Creed implies that he’s committed crimes for low levels of reward; Michael says he’s going to kill the guy who’s kissing Donna in her Facebook photo (though he immediately takes it back)
S6E25: Michael keeps throwing out radon kits that Toby put around the office; Michael once again claims that he would kill Toby; Dwight claims that his money is buried underneath someone (though we don’t know if this is a grave or a buried corpse); Dwight and Angela’s lawyer comments that their sex contract is dangerously close to prostitution and illegal
S7E1: Dwight tears the head off of Phyllis’ teddy bear and pulls a knife on Jim; Meredith breaks into Michael’s nephew’s car; Michael spanks his nephew
S7E2: Dwight attempts to open a daycare center that is absolutely not up to safety codes; Toby allows Michael to forge his counseling paperwork
S7E4: Dwight is shown attempting to pick up what would appear to be illegal immigrants for day labour and then instead of paying them, has Mose pretend to be an INS agent, kidnaps the workers, and then drops them off in Harrisburg; Holly claims that multiple people died in a traffic accident (though it’s incredibly likely that she was kidding); Michael takes an incredibly quick turn without his turn signal on
S7E5: Michael, Dwight, and Jim secretly watch Danny’s meeting with Meredith through hidden cameras (only illegal if they are recording the footage)
S7E7: Angela steals all of the scones from Cece’s christening (though they were for public consumption so it probably wouldn’t constitute as theft)
S7E8: The Scranton Strangler leads police on a high speed pursuit; Michael tells Pam that he has a loaded gun hidden in his desk at the office; Michael cuts the cable going to Gabe’s apartment
S7E10: Erin floats the idea of hiring a new employee, killing them, and then cashing in on the life insurance policy; Dwight and Phyllis float the idea of bombing China; Pam accuses Dwight of breaking property code laws
S7E11: Dwight and Jim keep throwing snowballs at each other with force, and some that contained pebbles (snowball fights themselves aren’t illegal, but it’s illegal in most places to throw objects which could be considered missiles, and Jim is also shown with what appears to be blood on his clothes afterwards); Dwight asks Toby is he’s on the jury for the middle school teacher who tried to turn a foreign exchange student into a sex slave; Meredith asks Toby if it’s the case with the postman who rubbed his genitals on deliveries; Michael throws out supplies and food meant for the Christmas party; Dwight is shown dragging the Christmas tree out of the office to throw it out; one of the snowballs that Jim lobs at Dwight breaks a window; Michael throws Holly’s Woody doll into the trash and pours coffee on it
S7E12: Jim stabs a few snowmen with his umbrella hoping that Dwight is hiding in one of them
S7E13: Michael claims that regardless if Holly gets engaged or not, he will probably either attack people in rage or burn the building down in happiness
S7E15: Michael leaves without paying at the Chinese restaurant; Creed is also listed on the wall of diners who did not pay for their meal
S7E17: Michael most likely did not have permits to film in some of the locations featured in Threat Level Midnight; multiple characters in Michael’s film are seen using guns (you do not need a permit to have a gun in your home or business place in Pennsylvania, but multiple characters concealed their weapons during the film, though the guns are likely fake); a mannequin of Toby is blown up during Michael’s film (depending on the type of explosive used, certification may be required); during the hockey scene of the film, Michael comments that it was filmed during an actual Scranton High hockey game (could be seen as defiant trespassing and/or disorderly conduct)
S7E18: Packer humps Michael and Dwight while they’re underneath a desk; Dwight throws away Holly’s zen garden; Dwight offers Packer a hot chocolate laced with many laxatives (depending on the amount, it could be considered assault or even homicide since extreme dehydration could kill someone); Andy purposely does damage to his computer’s keyboard and hard drive; Andy and Pam slightly damage Andy’s new computer; Jim and Dwight pretend to be Sabre employees and tell Packer he can jump the gate at Jo’s house
S7E19: Ryan uses Phyllis and Oscar’s faces on his mom’s pesto and salsa recipes (would fall under right of publicity laws); Ryan adds a Kosher certification onto his mom’s pesto recipe (against FDA regulations); Michael pours gasoline all over the parking lot; Michael wants to steal a corpse from a medical school to use in his proposal to Holly
S7E20: Michael eggs Toby’s house; Kevin colors on a restaurant tablecloth with crayons; Ryan admits to have done drugs in the past
S7E21: Gabe confronts Andy and threatens him to stay away from Erin (could be considered criminal threatening); Deangelo claims that he caught the person who stole one of Jo’s dogs
S7E24: Dwight accidentally fires his gun through the floor; Meredith claims that during the shooting she lost her necklace, a ring, and a painting and will be reporting it to the insurance company; Ryan claims that Dwight’s accident felt like an act of terrorism; Pam claims that Dwight has hidden more weapons in the office
S7E25: Creed parks his car in the middle of the parking lot
S7E26: Dwight admits that he would have created a fake identity for his character of Jacques Souvenier if Jo had hired him as manager
S8E1: Dwight uses a fire extinguisher to knock Meredith off of the top of a bathroom stall, drops a ream of paper on a warehouse employee’s head to get him off a table, and flips a table over to get Toby off of it; Dwight throws Jim’s phone against the wall with force and a shatter is heard; Dwight instigates a fight between nearly everyone in the office
S8E2: Andy says he will streak across the parking lot if the office accrues enough points
S8E3: Dwight pours his drink on the inside of someone’s car; Oscar smashes the car’s window and brake light with a crowbar; Dwight drives the baler through the warehouse wall; Erin and Kevin spread grease all over the warehouse floor; Dwight, Jim, Erin, and Kevin damage multiple boxes of paper
S8E4: Dunder Mifflin billboards across town are shown to be vandalized; Mose crashes Toby’s car into a corn field; Mose very tightly lines up everyone’s cars so that he can run across the roofs (he likely made scratches and dents while planning and executing this plan)
S8E5: Dwight is shown to have brought many weapons into the office in the past as part of Halloween costumes and threatened to kill Toby with them (though the weapons were never concealed and Toby usually confiscated them before he entered the office
S8E6: Oscar stated in an email that he believes that Robert has strangled at least one stripper; Kelly states in an email that they should kill Robert; Dwight’s accountability booster is dangerously close to a form of blackmail; Gabe says that he is going to go to a cemetery and drink (it’s actually illegal to drink in most cemeteries); Pam stops Kevin from hitting Dwight over the head with a frying pan; Jim takes Robert’s phone and attempts to deletes an email (technically illegal to use someone’s phone without their permission)
S8E7: Dwight repeatedly grabs Jim’s crotch
S8E8: A Civil War informational video reveals that the soldiers from Schrute Farm were soldiers that went AWOL
S8E9: When Dwight suggests that everyone in the office is in a suicide cult, Creed strongly denies it, implying that he probably is in one; Jim leaves his car running and unattended in the middle of the parking lot
S8E10: Dwight punches Jim in the arm; Erin asks Andy for Jessica to die; Meredith threatens to drive drunk if Andy doesn’t drive her home; Meredith rides in the back of her van without a seatbelt on
S8E11: Andy asks Oscar to add $800 to their quarterly sales, implying it could be seen as a rounding error; Kevin offers to make that rounding error for Andy
S8E12: Jim drives over Robert’s lawn and breaks his mailbox
S8E15: Jim creates a fake murder scene in his hotel room for Dwight which involved stained towels, knocked over and possibly broken furniture, a writing on the door; Dwight threatens to light Jim’s face on fire; Dwight leaves the hospital with his IV solution bag, which implies he likely didn’t pay for his visit before leaving
S8E16: Gabe sprays an inhaler into Packer’s drink; Dwight damages his hotel room keycard; Dwight sprays a compound of chemicals in Jim’s hotel room creating what he claims is a biohazard
S8E17: Multiple homeless people are sleeping on the sidewalk outside the Sabre store (it’s usually only illegal for homeless individuals to sleep on the sidewalk if a shelter is available); Dwight tells Packer that he should act like a sexual predator when talking to the female teenage customers; a group of children throw pinecones at Andy and Pam, and one of them punches Andy in the face resulting in a black eye; Creed strikes the back of Meredith’s head; Ryan calls his uncle to get a prescription for Ritalin; Kelly attacks Toby and then accidentally elbows Andy in the face
S8E18: Dwight leaves a treasure chest in the office which fires a poisoned dart upwards at whomever opens it; Jim and Dwight tackle and punch each other; Kevin forcibly kisses Meredith
S8E19: Darryl drags Dwight out of his office by his hair; Andy tosses a container of eggplant parmesan onto the street; Andy leaves his car unattended in the middle of an intersection
S8E20: Dwight offers to hit Nellie with a candlestick; Jessica’s friends throw food at Andy’s car
S8E21: Andy smashes the frame holding a picture of Nellie; Andy punches another hole into the wall
S8E22: Andy loiters at the office parking lot
S8E23: Dwight and Jim create a fake identity to work around the commission cap (Dwight even admits that it’s extremely similar to embezzlement or fraud); Harry threatens to choke out Toby; Dwight tells Jim he should dent the hood of Harry’s car or slash the tires; Dwight attempts to activate the elevator’s seismic failsafes to stop the elevator; Pam steals Nellie’s phone and deletes all of her voicemails (technically illegal to use someone’s phone without their permission); Andy tells Robert if he doesn’t hire him back, he will give Prestige Direct Mail Solutions’ business to a competitor (technically blackmail)
S8E24: Kevin and Robert accidentally head butt each other; Andy mops the carpets, likely damaging them; Dwight steals Philip’s used diaper so he can have a paternity test done (this is called gene theft); Angela and Dwight both speed and drive recklessly; Angela hits Mose multiple times; Dwight and Mose both leave their cars unattended in the middle of the street; Robert forcibly kisses Andy; Dwight forces himself on Angela (though seconds later she is a willing participant)
S9E1: Andy threatens to make up a reason to fire Nellie (since Toby is aware of this, if Nellie were to sue Andy, Toby would have to testify against him); Andy purposely pushes Nellie off of the slack-lining rope; Dwight deconstructs Dunder Mifflin equipment to create his trapeze set; Dwight gets stuck on the slack-line and the fire department has to come to get him down; Andy places all of the recycling bins near Nellie and has people throw their trash at her
S9E2: While the building’s janitor is on vacation, the building becomes incredibly dirty to the point where rats can be seen (likely against multiple health codes); Nellie forces Dwight into a situation where he has to chop off her hand (though he doesn’t go through with it)
S9E3: Nellie drives recklessly; Nellie uses her phone while driving
S9E4: Dwight and Toby find EMF hotspots in the office which could imply that there’s poor wiring in the building (depending on how bad the wiring actually is, this could actually break laws); Stanley threatens to spank Clark; Dwight drives the work bus (depending on the type of bus it was, Dwight would need a certain license to drive it); Phyllis asks someone to just start driving the bus while Dwight is on the roof; Dwight drops himself through the rooftop emergency exit on the bus onto Jim; Dwight drives the bus recklessly
S9E5: Creed comes into the office with blood stains all over his clothes (it likely was not his blood, so he may have harmed someone); Andy reveals he had sex with a snowman while at Cornell (would fall under public indecency); Dwight catches Meredith in a net and causes her to fall to the floor
S9E6: Kevin leaves his car in the middle of the parking lot so he can run to the bathroom; Oscar forges documents to make it looks like Kevin has been taking money from Dunder Mifflin; Nellie, Jim, Pam, and Darryl create a situation where Dwight believes that police have surrounded David’s house; Pete’s friend Flipper once drunkenly flipped a table over at a bar
S9E7: Dwight claims he used to have a barber who fought dogs and made dogs fight each other; Clark is used as leverage by Dwight to get Jan’s business (this trade would be dangerously close to prostitution)
S9E8: Dwight reveals that Trevor has had numerous guns stolen from him; Angela hires Trevor to murder Oscar; Dwight claims he has left poop in a paper bag on people’s porches (would be classified as vandalism); Trevor claims that people have left poop in a bag on his porch multiple times; Angela asks Trevor to break Oscar’s kneecaps instead; Trevor brings a concealed weapon into the office; Phyllis taps a stranger on the back with the sharp end of a knife; Phyllis forcibly removes a decorative wine bottle from its base; Angela kicks Oscar in the shin
S9E9: Dwight hits Oscar and Jim with a stick; Darryl collapses on a table and breaks it in half
S9E10: Dwight throws his coffee cup up in the air, likely staining the carpet; Dwight sprays a disinfectant in Erin, Pam, Angela, and Meredith’s faces; Erin tackles Stanley; Meredith reveals that one of her exes keyed a bunch of people’s cars; Meredith also reveals that she pooped into an office shredder; Dwight accidentally sets off an insecticidal grenade (I don’t believe there is a real insecticidal grenade but I’m sure there’s some law against either setting one off or doing so with people nearby); Angela hits Oscar in the head with a coffee pot; Kevin misuses one of the warehouse machines and causes it to break; Dwight accidentally sets off another insecticidal grenade in his car (he most likely still drove his car after while experiencing hallucinogenic side effects)
S9E11: Jim is seen driving a motorcycle (Jim likely did not have a motorcycle license); Dwight suggests that Jim should drive 240 miles per hour so he can get to the office faster; Creed steals Phyllis’ ring; Kevin forcibly lifts Angela up multiple times; Darryl misses a basketball hoop and accidentally breaks a wall lamp and electrocutes a fish tank (though Darryl agreed to pay for the damage); multiple people in the office tear up the carpet flooring
S9E12: Dwight rips open a couch cushion with a knife; Dwight drives one of the delivery trucks (he likely does not have a license to drive the truck); Dwight throws a milkshake through the drive-thru window at an employee; a customer in the drive-thru throws a milkshake at Dwight
S9E13: Dwight reveals that Rolf uses hand grenades to fish; Mose is seen running in the middle of the street (could be considered jaywalking); Dwight reveals that when he was a child, he went to a school that was run by a conman; one of Dwight’s friends reveals that the school used the students as labor; Melvina reveals that she’s been double parked for about two hours; Dwight gives the sales rep applicants Jim’s home address so they can toilet paper it; Rolf tells Dwight to be weary of any suspicious packages he may get, implying that he’ll be sending him potentially dangerous packages; Dwight attempts to suffocate Clarke
S9E14: Frank vandalizes Pam’s warehouse mural; Angela hits Oscar; Dwight and Pam vandalize Frank’s truck; Frank rushes at Pam with the intent to hit her; Brian hits Frank in the face with his boom mic
S9E15: Meredith suggests that everyone in the office should try cocaine
S9E16: Dwight’s Aunt Shirley slaps Angela; Andy snoops through Erin’s phone; Andy kicks Toby; Angela accidentally sets off the hose on Dwight (the hose likely has the same pressure as a firehose, which is about 150 PSI, so this could be considered assault); Toby leaves the prison wearing a neck brace after visiting the Scranton Stranger, implying the Strangler attempted to strangled him;
S9E17: Dwight throws dirt in the faces of Erin, Phyllis, Kevin, Oscar, Meredith, Angela, Stanley, Pam and Jim; Dwight’s brother Jeb drives his car into Aunt Shirley’s grave; Packer reveals he’s in Narcotics Anonymous, implying he used to use drugs; Dwight reveals that his family members have accidentally buried family members who were thought to be dead but were actually in deep sleep; Dwight unloads a shotgun into his aunt’s corpse; Jeb reveals that he owns a worm farm in California (medical marijuana was not legalized in California until 2018); Packer reveals that the cupcakes he gave out to everyone in the office, as well as to Jim and Darryl were laced with drugs, some legal and some not; Packer is seen having parked his car halfway between a handicapped spot and a do-not-park zone; Clarke reveals that while drugged, he defected in some bushes
S9E18: Dwight dumps a bucket of water onto Phyllis, and is likely the same person who dumped a bucket of water onto Andy as well (technically would be classified as assault); Meredith exposes her breasts in the office; Angela slaps Oscar
S9E19: Dwight shoots Stanley with three tranquilizers meant for a bull (horse tranquilizers can cause serious harm to humans, and a bull tranquilizer likely has a higher dosage); Meredith squirts some of the bull tranquilizer into her drink (probably not illegal since she put it into her own drink, but it would be classified as placing a foreign object into an edible, which is actually a felony); Dwight and Clarke accidentally slam Stanley’s unconscious body into two walls; while sliding down a flight of stairs, Stanley’s unconscious body makes a dent in the wall; Andy kicks over an empty trash can; a man at the talent agency claims that through his dog-cat-mouse act, he goes through a lot of mice (allowing your pet to eat live animals can be considered animal cruelty); Stanley tranquilizes himself so that he doesn’t have to climb the stairs
S9E20: Creed smashes a melon on the warehouse floor; Pam accidentally hits Toby in the eye with a paper airplane; Erin reveals that when she was in the orphanage, she once ripped Susan’s pigtails off of her head; Erin crushes a box of packing peanuts; Clarke asks Pam and Jim to share the drugs he think they’re high on; Angela is seen taking rolls of toilet paper from the office
S9E21: Lackawanna County takes away “two sacks” worth of Angela’s cats because she is violating her apartment complex’s pet rules; Dwight throws his briefcase and hits multiple items; Dwight nearly kicks and punches multiple in the office; Andy asks Toby to falsify files; Andy attempts to grope Toby; Andy dedicates on David’s car (this would be classified as vandalism and public indecency);
S9E22: Dwight reveals that his grandmother was shot by Adolph Coors; Dwight throws the summoning bag against the back of Jim’s head; Casey Dean jumps on the back of the a cappella show host; Meredith spanks Darryl; Dwight is seen driving with his police light on his car; Dwight drives recklessly
S9E23: Dwight reveals that Creed faked his own death; Dwight also reveals that the police are looking for Creed as he sold drugs, trafficked endangered animal meat, and stole weapons-grade LSD from the military; Oscar reveals that Kevin used to make up numbers to balance the books; Mose kidnaps Angela and locks her in his trunk for three hours; Creed changes his identity; Ryan reveals that his partner abandoned him and their child; Ryan purposely gives his son an allergic reaction; Kelly and Ryan abandon his son with Ravi; Nellie takes Ryan’s son as her own child (she didn’t legally adopt him so this would be considered child abduction); Pam attempts to sell their home without Jim’s knowledge (since Jim bought the house as a surprise, his name is likely on the deed as well and Pam wouldn’t be able to sell it without him); Kevin spills alcohol all over a cabinet while filling up glasses
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Rolling Hills Casino Corning California CCPRA FINALS PROMO -C.R.G. CORNING, CALIFORNIA VLOG 1-23-16 Corning, CA Large Hail Rolling Hills sunset Rolling Hills Casino, Corning California. Corning ca. Police department getting down

Corning, California has 1 casinos in which you'll find more than 800 slots and gaming machines. There are a total of 12 table games. Click a casino on the left for more information on a particular property. Some Corning casinos also offer convention centers and meeting spaces. Over the entire town, you will find a total of 7,000 conference sq/ft space in the various casino properties. Largest ... Rolling Hills Casino and Resort: Nothing Specisl - See 250 traveler reviews, 31 candid photos, and great deals for Corning, CA, at Tripadvisor. Rolling Hills Casino and Resort, Corning: Hours, Address, Rolling Hills Casino and Resort Reviews: 4/5 USA Kalifornien Corning Sehenswürdigkeiten und Aktivitäten in Corning Rolling Hills Casino and Resort ... At Rolling Hills Casino in Corning, California you`ll find over 25,000 square feet of gaming space, two nice hotels, four eateries, a golf course, equestrian center, events center and plenty of opportunity for fun times! Opened in 2002, recent additions include the equestrian center and a 3 star Vagabond Executive hotel known as The Lodge. Dining opportunities run from the Timbers Steakhouse ... Hotels, casino, restaurants, RV park, golf, hunting, fishing and more. At Rolling Hills Casino on Interstate 5 in Northern California, it’s better to play. Hotels, casino, restaurants, RV park, golf, hunting, fishing and more . skip to main content. Sunday-Thursday 7am-3am • Friday & Saturday 7am-4am. YOUR SAFETY MATTERS: COVID-19 UPDATES. Toggle navigation. Location; RV Park; Guest Photos ... Rolling Hills Casino and Resort has a dining option for everyone. From fine dining at Timber’s Steakhouse, a quick bite at Aroma’s Coffee House, to a friendly gathering at the Lounge and the biggest and best buffet in Northern California, we have the food you’ll love! Corning, California, has one Indian gaming establishment, but there are a few more within an easy drive of Corning. Rolling Hills Casino. The Rolling Hills Casino (rollinghillscasino.com) is a one ...

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Rolling Hills Casino Corning California

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